* Get one of those marvellous pink rabbit hand blenders. Like the ones I've seen on the late-night shopping channel.

Bridget reckons John Lennon wrote a song about her. I'm guessing it was 'Give Peace a Chance'.

Bridget was so excited to see the giant Colin Firth statue, she almost had a stroke. But she couldn't quite reach.

The poor soul would have been 100 - if he'd lived another twelve years. Apparently he asked to be scattered over the place where he spent his happiest moments - but Bridget wasn't keen no having ash all over her duvet.

Bridget - I like my tea like I like my men. Strong, sweet and dark.Joan - I like my tea like I like my men too. Still warm.

Bridget's fiancé keeps giving her late-night booty calls. Although he has to ring at midday so she can get there in time.